THIS IS HOW I ENDED UP WREAKING OR BETTER “WASTING ” “51 DAYS OF MY LIFE” .
So, “TINDER” was a boom machine in the early 2015’s. I admit I was on tinder too. I liked swiping guys, leftt and riighttt. It was a kind of Visual satisfaction for me though. I broke up with my boyfriend who was a chef at Ritz-Carlton then, he had his shit to get together, so we called it off.
Well, yeah ! while I swiped boys, I swiped girls too (Don’t judge me. I’m straight. I was just exploring my options). Anyway, I saw this cute “White girl” who I swiped right. It was a match and we clicked. We had fun texting and our imagination ran wild. haha ! We were in constant touch now and then.
This is where the it all started.
Day 1- I met her friend, who was an amazing brainiac , nerd, and surprisingly very cute for his personality. We met at bar and hit it off, he asked me out the same evening and we decided we would go on a date to this fancy place he hadn’t been to.
Day 2- At the bar, The whole conversation with him was getting enticing and he was just too irresistible. I am a talker and I dont stop, but he seemed to catch my attention and he kept talking.
Day 3-Days and nights passed by. Talking over the phone, texting like we were in love. We did breakfasts and met quiet often. It seemed like I finally managed to find my “other half” with no absolute effort.
Day 13-One fine evening I get this unannounced ” I think I need time for myself, feel Its just getting too soon“. Giving him a diplomatic answer I suggested him to take time as much as he wanted and only wished the best for him and wished him him a successful future ahead of him for he is an amazing blogger himself and is pretty much doing well in a Venture Capital firm.
I knew it was over !
I cried like a 5 year old in the auto rickshaw, on my way back home from office. I felt miserable and I took a week to get over it and come to an understanding that maybe the chase was getting too much for him and he just lost interest.
My life was just peaceful and I was over with all that jazz. I had an amazing vacation with my family which seemed even more important than think of a boy who left me for nothing.
I thought maybe he blocked me everywhere. Believing this I never called or sent across a text. It just seemed pointless !
Day 29- I couldn’t believe what I saw . He gets back to me. Trying all to convince me to get back to me, got me into buying his shit that he really liked me, he missed me and he would continue where we left.
I did not have the slightest idea as to if he really meant it or it was just pretence to bust me (what a trouble maker, I should’ve seen this coming). Nevertheless I bought it, the cherry was too sweet and I had to take a bite of it.
Over the course period of time I tried understanding what was it that he wanted from me, really me or just to sleep around? His constant need to kiss me,see me, hold me in his arms made the gap even more irresistible for him. I got the vibes of somebody who wanted me not for me.
I got myself a “MONICA”- over planning our trips and dates etc. deciding where to bag-pack and travel and spending time like lover in the sun. It was a butterfly moment for me. Everything was cakewalk and each moment with him made me crave for him, The law of attraction was just proving right .
Nothing seemed to be stopping now, he was my favorite boy and I liked him like sugar and spice and everything nice. He was so intelligent and beautiful to me I kept falling deeper and deeper for him. I read all this articles at my office, so beautifully written and something so new for me. I could grasp it all. He was just the right “Sapiosexual” boy I was looking out for. I was just blown away by his extreme smart brains and the amount of knowledge he had in that cute head of his. He was like a candy which was rightfully mine.
Day 36- We spent the whole evening in the bed, next to each other. Talking about our future plan. We cuddled and giggled. The time froze and we belonged to each other. We were living in the moment . The next morning I had to leave for work and I get up early, I see him under the quilt peaceful , still asleep. I couldn’t even think about waking him up for a goodbye kiss. I just brushed my fingers through his hair and I pat him to sleep. I left in a cab and he was there to drop me out. That was the last time I ever saw him !
We did talk about vague things now and then and it just seemed like it began fading away. It did !
Day 41- I was longing to see him and meet him and outta the blue skies I asked what were his plan for the weekend, he as usual portrayed himself very busy, stuck with meetings and traveling to bombay !
He was least bothered even when I met with an accident and wouldn’t even ask how was I doing. I felt terrible and flabbergasted . I went on a trip with my best friend and I also sent him a happy picture and without failing to mention told him I missed him and wished he was with us ! He seemed very bleak about it. which was even more hard for me to digest .
Day 51- I was losing my patience because it was definitely not fair on his part to just leave somebody thinking about them like that, it was futile. Eventually I made a move. I had to compromise on my self-esteem and ask again (which seemed like a desperate move) for the gloves that I’d forgotten at his place. I felt I made a fool outta myself to do so. Maybe this was a desperate move but I also thought This was a perfect chance to get things straight, In the meanwhile he pinged me on Whatsapp saying he was busy and was in bombay, and had meeting to attend to so would be staying there for the weekend.
I like a flower child bought his crap and wished him good luck. It was a happy Saturday and I decided to spend the evening with my beloveds . Thus, we headed to the club. Now that was a sight I can never forget. EVER ! There, there, there.. There he stood with his friends. All Smiles. I lost my head for a minute, I thought I was already Drunk but “It is him. Thats the same watch and the same face and the same smile. I cannot be mistaken”. I was astonished to see him with another girl, who he was all over. Good for him !
I remembered I shared a look with him that night. We both knew that we are in the same club sharing the same floor but with two distinct groups.. I don’t even know if he felt guilty at all, His lie was such a flop show. I was expecting him walk up and apologize. That never happened. Henceforth I decided I would not utter a word to him and stay away. Not send a text or call. He does not deserve sympathy or pity or anything from my side. He simply deserves nothing. I thought Smart guys make good moves but this one played smooth. very very smooth! Right from the start.
This is something that has been bothering me . I’ve been acting weird when I see a couple. I get irritated at the slightest of things. I just don’t want to date men anymore ( not that I want to date a girl ).
I put my guards down for a complete bummer who does not even bother for a closure. For I know now that he had always been planning this and planted these feelings in my head which I feel stupid for. But nevertheless I am trying to get over this Smarty who had my heart..